I never wanted to tell my parents I was molested when I was a child. I tried to protect them from the pain.
A therapist once asked me: “Who was protecting young Cata love when the abuse was happening?”. I was the child and they were the adults. She said I kept inverting the roles.
I kept it as a secret for so many years. When you go through any type of abuse, is easy to feel guilty about it. As if we are the ones to blame.
I also realized the reason why I always show myself as “unavailable” to man. I didn´t feel worthy of love.
I had a nomad lifestyle for over 10 years. Travelling to one country to the other one. Switching from one language to the other one. I thought that if I travelled far enough, the pain will just disappear.
There´s a certain beauty in this healing process. I´m not embarrassed anymore about who I ‘am and who I became.