For many years, I went out partying, drunk tons and fast and I would black-out completely. The fucked-up thing was that I would be dancing, talking, fucking, and doing who knows what else, but on a conscious mental level I did not know what I was doing.
I think it was back in 2007. I was working abroad, I recently broke up with my ex and I wanted to party like a mother fucker.
We broke up because we were not right for each other. It was a toxic relationship, I was a terrible girlfriend and he was a lousy boyfriend.
It was my boss´s birthday, who happened to be a good friend of mine and we were also roommates. We drank one, two, three, four tequilas and I was out.
We left the house, went to the casino, partied with the band, partied at the dance club, and had so much fun. Until security kicked me out of course. I was the only of out of control, they said.
My friends drove me home, I blacked out on the carpet and they thought that was it. They went back to the casino.
I woke up, realized I was at home by myself, so I thought it was a good idea to leave the house and go back fucking partying.
I didn`t know what I was doing. It was snowing outside and I was wearing flip-flops and a huddie, WTF.
On my way to the casino, the police stopped me, breathalyzed me and took me in. I truly believe it was for the best, I could have frozen to death that night.
I was in the USA, so public intoxication is a big deal there. I went to court, the judge, offered me to go to 12 AA meetings, went back to court a couple of months later, showed proof of assistance, and be released of the misdemeanor charge. It was stupid not to take it, so here I was going to AA meetings.
Do you think I learned my lesson? Of course not. I blacked out so many times after that experience that is fucking ridiculous.
That night I really believed I was Marilyn Monroe.