Does it happen to you that you want to be happy, and on the surface you have the tools to be happy, but you are not. You are always chasing the feeling of happiness, but what the fuck is happiness? Does it really exist? We are humans beings, we fluctuate through emotions, we can be happy one moment, and be miserable right the next one. Or maybe not.
I´m very thankful with what I have, but sometimes i cannot help having this recurring thought of shooting myself in the head? Is a fucked up thought that torments me to be honest. But is there every once in a while.
I think that´s depression. The feeling of having this black huge cloud on top of your head, which follows you everywhere you go. No matter how far you travel, it stays with you.
Not everybody can understand that expression. But for me, it has been real since I can recall. The feeling of blackness.
I don´t want this blog to be about darkness, but quiet the opposite. Is about finding the light and the hope, in spite of all the darkness.